The Two Noble Kinsmen
Act V, Scene 2
A darkened room in the prison.
-
Enter Doctor, Jailer, and Wooer in habit of Palamon.
Doctor
1
-
Has this advice I told you done any good upon her?
Wooer
2 - 6
-
O, very much; the maids that kept her company
-
Have half persuaded her that I am Palamon.
-
Within this half hour she came smiling to me,
-
And ask’d me what I would eat, and when I would kiss her.
-
I told her, presently, and kiss’d her twice.
Doctor
7 - 8
-
’Twas well done. Twenty times had been far better,
-
For there the cure lies mainly.
Wooer
9 - 11
-
Then she told me
-
She would watch with me tonight, for well she knew
-
What hour my fit would take me.
Doctor
12 - 13
-
Let her do so,
-
And when your fit comes, fit her home, and presently.
Wooer
14
-
She would have me sing.
Doctor
17 - 18
-
’Twas very ill done then.
-
You should observe her ev’ry way.
Wooer
19 - 20
-
Alas,
-
I have no voice, sir, to confirm her that way.
Doctor
21 - 23
-
That’s all one, if ye make a noise.
-
If she entreat again, do any thing,
-
Lie with her, if she ask you.
Jailer
24
-
Ho there, doctor!
Doctor
25
-
Yes, in the way of cure.
Jailer
26 - 27
-
But first, by your leave,
-
I’ th’ way of honesty.
Doctor
28 - 31
-
That’s but a niceness.
-
Nev’r cast your child away for honesty.
-
Cure her first this way; then if she will be honest,
-
She has the path before her.
Jailer
32
-
Thank ye, doctor.
Doctor
33 - 34
-
Pray bring her in
-
And let’s see how she is.
Jailer
35 - 37
-
I will, and tell her
-
Her Palamon stays for her; but, doctor,
-
Methinks you are i’ th’ wrong still.
Doctor
38 - 40
-
Go, go!
-
You fathers are fine fools. Her honesty!
-
And we should give her physic till we find that—
Wooer
41
-
Why, do you think she is not honest, sir?
Doctor
42
-
How old is she?
Doctor
44 - 48
-
She may be,
-
But that’s all one, ’tis nothing to our purpose.
-
What e’er her father says, if you perceive
-
Her mood inclining that way that I spoke of,
-
Videlicet, the way of flesh—you have me?
Wooer
49
-
Yet very well, sir.
Doctor
50 - 52
-
Please her appetite,
-
And do it home; it cures her ipso facto
-
The melancholy humor that infects her.
Wooer
53
-
I am of your mind, doctor.
-
Enter Jailer, Daughter, Maid.
Doctor
54
-
You’ll find it so. She comes. Pray humor her.
Jailer
55 - 56
-
Come, your love Palamon stays for you, child,
-
And has done this long hour, to visit you.
Daughter
57 - 59
-
I thank him for his gentle patience,
-
He’s a kind gentleman, and I am much bound to him.
-
Did you nev’r see the horse he gave me?
Daughter
61
-
How do you like him?
Jailer
62
-
He’s a very fair one.
Daughter
63
-
You never saw him dance?
Daughter
65 - 68
-
I have often.
-
He dances very finely, very comely,
-
And for a jig, come cut and long tail to him,
-
He turns ye like a top.
Jailer
69
-
That’s fine indeed.
Daughter
70 - 74
-
He’ll dance the morris twenty mile an hour,
-
And that will founder the best hobby-horse
-
(If I have any skill) in all the parish,
-
And gallops to the tune of “Light a’ love.”
-
What think you of this horse?
Jailer
75 - 76
-
Having these virtues,
-
I think he might be brought to play at tennis.
Daughter
77
-
Alas, that’s nothing.
Jailer
78
-
Can he write and read too?
Daughter
79 - 82
-
A very fair hand, and casts himself th’ accounts
-
Of all his hay and provender. That hostler
-
Must rise betime that cozens him. You know
-
The chestnut mare the Duke has?
Daughter
84 - 85
-
She is horribly in love with him, poor beast,
-
But he is like his master, coy and scornful.
Jailer
86
-
What dowry has she?
Daughter
87 - 90
-
Some two hundred bottles,
-
And twenty strike of oats, but he’ll ne’er have her.
-
He lisps in ’s neighing able to entice
-
A miller’s mare, he’ll be the death of her.
Doctor
91
-
What stuff she utters!
Jailer
92
-
Make curtsy, here your love comes.
Wooer
93 - 94
-
Pretty soul,
-
How do ye? That’s a fine maid! There’s a curtsy!
Daughter
95 - 96
-
Yours to command i’ th’ way of honesty.
-
How far is’t now to th’ end o’ th’ world, my masters?
Doctor
97
-
Why, a day’s journey, wench.
Daughter
98
-
Will you go with me?
Wooer
99
-
What shall we do there, wench?
Daughter
100 - 101
-
Why, play at stoolball:
-
What is there else to do?
Wooer
102 - 103
-
I am content,
-
If we shall keep our wedding there.
Daughter
104 - 110
-
’Tis true,
-
For there, I will assure you, we shall find
-
Some blind priest for the purpose that will venture
-
To marry us, for here they are nice and foolish.
-
Besides, my father must be hang’d tomorrow,
-
And that would be a blot i’ th’ business.
-
Are not you Palamon?
Wooer
111
-
Do not you know me?
Daughter
112 - 113
-
Yes, but you care not for me. I have nothing
-
But this poor petticoat and two coarse smocks.
Wooer
114
-
That’s all one, I will have you.
Daughter
115
-
Will you surely?
Wooer
116
-
Yes, by this fair hand, will I.
Daughter
117
-
We’ll to bed then.
Wooer
118
-
Ev’n when you will.
Daughter
119
-
O, sir, you would fain be nibbling.
Wooer
120
-
Why do you rub my kiss off?
Daughter
121 - 123
-
’Tis a sweet one,
-
And will perfume me finely against the wedding.
-
Is not this your cousin Arcite?
Doctor
124 - 126
-
Yes, sweet heart,
-
And I am glad my cousin Palamon
-
Has made so fair a choice.
Daughter
127
-
Do you think he’ll have me?
Doctor
128
-
Yes, without doubt.
Daughter
129
-
Do you think so too?
Daughter
131 - 135
-
We shall have many children.—Lord, how y’ are grown!
-
My Palamon I hope will grow too, finely,
-
Now he’s at liberty. Alas, poor chicken,
-
He was kept down with hard meat and ill lodging,
-
But I’ll kiss him up again.
First Messenger
136 - 137
-
What do you here? You’ll lose the noblest sight
-
That ev’r was seen.
Jailer
138
-
Are they i’ th’ field?
First Messenger
139 - 140
-
They are.
-
You bear a charge there too.
Jailer
141 - 142
-
I’ll away straight.
-
I must ev’n leave you here.
Doctor
143 - 144
-
Nay, we’ll go with you,
-
I will not lose the fight.
Jailer
145
-
How did you like her?
Doctor
146 - 149
-
I’ll warrant you within these three or four days
-
I’ll make her right again.
-
To the Wooer.
-
You must not from her,
-
But still preserve her in this way.
Doctor
151
-
Let’s get her in.
Wooer
152 - 153
-
Come, sweet, we’ll go to dinner,
-
And then we’ll play at cards.
Daughter
154
-
And shall we kiss too?
Wooer
155
-
A hundred times.
Wooer
157
-
Ay, and twenty.
Daughter
158
-
And then we’ll sleep together?
Doctor
159
-
Take her offer.
Wooer
160
-
Yes, marry, will we.
Daughter
161
-
But you shall not hurt me.
Wooer
162
-
I will not, sweet.
Daughter
163
-
If you do, love, I’ll cry.