The Two Gentlemen of Verona
Act II, Scene 5
Milan. A street.
Costume design for Speed
Walford Graham Robertson, circa 1900
- Enter Speed and Launce, meeting.
Speed
1- Launce, by mine honesty, welcome to Milan.
Launce
2 - 5- Forswear not thyself, sweet youth, for I am not welcome. I
- reckon this always, that a man is never undone till he be
- hang’d, nor never welcome to a place till some certain shot
- be paid and the hostess say “Welcome.”
Speed
6 - 9- Come on, you madcap, I’ll to the alehouse with you
- presently; where, for one shot of five pence, thou shalt
- have five thousand welcomes. But, sirrah, how did thy master
- part with Madam Julia?
Launce
10 - 11- Marry, after they clos’d in earnest, they parted very fairly
- in jest.
Speed
12- But shall she marry him?
Launce
13- No.
Speed
14- How then? Shall he marry her?
Launce
15- No, neither.
Speed
16- What, are they broken?
Launce
17- No, they are both as whole as a fish.
Speed
18- Why then, how stands the matter with them?
Launce
19 - 20- Marry, thus: when it stands well with him, it stands well
- with her.
Speed
21- What an ass art thou! I understand thee not.
Launce
22 - 23- What a block art thou, that thou canst not! My staff
- understands me.
Speed
24- What thou say’st?
Launce
25 - 26- Ay, and what I do too. Look thee, I’ll but lean, and my
- staff understands me.
Speed
27- It stands under thee indeed.
Launce
28- Why, stand-under and under-stand is all one.
Speed
29- But tell me true, will’t be a match?
Launce
30 - 31- Ask my dog. If he say ay, it will; if he say no, it will; if
- he shake his tail and say nothing, it will.
Speed
32- The conclusion is then, that it will.
Launce
33- Thou shalt never get such a secret from me but by a parable.
Speed
34 - 35- ’Tis well that I get it so. But, Launce, how say’st thou
- that my master is become a notable lover?
Launce
36- I never knew him otherwise.
Speed
37- Than how?
Launce
38- A notable lubber—as thou reportest him to be.
Speed
39- Why, thou whoreson ass, thou mistak’st me.
Launce
40- Why, fool, I meant not thee, I meant thy master.
Speed
41- I tell thee, my master is become a hot lover.
Launce
42 - 44- Why, I tell thee, I care not, though he burn himself in
- love. If thou wilt, go with me to the alehouse; if not, thou
- art an Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the name of a Christian.
Speed
45- Why?
Launce
46 - 47- Because thou hast not so much charity in thee as to go to
- the ale with a Christian. Wilt thou go?
Speed
48- At thy service.
- Exeunt.
But tell me true, will’t be a match?
From: Cassell's Illustrated Shakespeare
Mary Cowden Clarke, Charles Cowden Clarke, 1870