Troilus and Cressida
Act I, Scene 2
Troy. A street.
- Enter Cressida and her man Alexander.
Cressida
1- Who were those went by?
Alexander
2- Queen Hecuba and Helen.
Cressida
3- And whither go they?
Alexander
4 - 13- Up to the eastern tower,
- Whose height commands as subject all the vale,
- To see the battle. Hector, whose patience
- Is as a virtue fix’d, today was mov’d:
- He chid Andromache and struck his armorer,
- And like as there were husbandry in war,
- Before the sun rose he was harness’d light,
- And to the field goes he; where every flower
- Did as a prophet weep what it foresaw
- In Hector’s wrath.
Cressida
14- What was his cause of anger?
Alexander
15 - 17- The noise goes, this: there is among the Greeks
- A lord of Troyan blood, nephew to Hector,
- They call him Ajax.
Cressida
18- Good; and what of him?
Alexander
19- They say he is a very man per se and stands alone.
Cressida
20- So do all men, unless th’ are drunk, sick, or have no legs.
Alexander
21 - 31- This man, lady, hath robb’d many beasts of their particular
- additions: he is as valiant as the lion, churlish as the
- bear, slow as the elephant; a man into whom nature hath so
- crowded humors that his valor is crush’d into folly, his
- folly sauc’d with discretion. There is no man hath a virtue
- that he hath not a glimpse of, nor any man an attaint but he
- carries some stain of it. He is melancholy without cause,
- and merry against the hair; he hath the joints of every
- thing, but every thing so out of joint that he is a gouty
- Briareus, many hands and no use, or purblind Argus, all eyes
- and no sight.
Cressida
32 - 33- But how should this man, that makes me smile, make Hector
- angry?
Alexander
34 - 36- They say he yesterday cop’d Hector in the battle and struck
- him down, the disdain and shame whereof hath ever since kept
- Hector fasting and waking.
- Enter Pandarus.
Cressida
37- Who comes here?
Alexander
38- Madam, your uncle Pandarus.
Cressida
39- Hector’s a gallant man.
Alexander
40- As may be in the world, lady.
Pandarus
41- What’s that? What’s that?
Cressida
42- Good morrow, uncle Pandarus.
Pandarus
43 - 45- Good morrow, cousin Cressid. What do you talk of? Good
- morrow, Alexander. How do you, cousin? When were you at
- Ilium?
Cressida
46- This morning, uncle.
Pandarus
47 - 48- What were you talking of when I came? Was Hector arm’d and
- gone ere ye came to Ilium? Helen was not up, was she?
Cressida
49- Hector was gone, but Helen was not up.
Pandarus
50- E’en so; Hector was stirring early.
Cressida
51- That were we talking of, and of his anger.
Pandarus
52- Was he angry?
Cressida
53- So he says here.
Pandarus
54 - 57- True, he was so; I know the cause too. He’ll lay about him
- today, I can tell them that, and there’s Troilus will not
- come far behind him. Let them take heed of Troilus; I can
- tell them that too.
Cressida
58- What, is he angry too?
Pandarus
59- Who, Troilus? Troilus is the better man of the two.
Cressida
60- O Jupiter, there’s no comparison.
Pandarus
61 - 62- What, not between Troilus and Hector? Do you know a man if
- you see him?
Cressida
63- Ay, if I ever saw him before and knew him.
Pandarus
64- Well, I say Troilus is Troilus.
Cressida
65- Then you say as I say, for I am sure he is not Hector.
Pandarus
66- No, nor Hector is not Troilus in some degrees.
Cressida
67- ’Tis just to each of them; he is himself.
Pandarus
68- Himself? Alas, poor Troilus, I would he were!
Cressida
69- So he is.
Pandarus
70- Condition I had gone barefoot to India.
Cressida
71- He is not Hector.
Pandarus
72 - 75- Himself? No! He’s not himself. Would ’a were himself! Well,
- the gods are above, time must friend or end. Well, Troilus,
- well, I would my heart were in her body. No, Hector is not a
- better man than Troilus.
Cressida
76- Excuse me.
Pandarus
77- He is elder.
Cressida
78- Pardon me, pardon me.
Pandarus
79 - 81- Th’ other’s not come to’t. You shall tell me another tale
- when th’ other’s come to’t. Hector shall not have his wit
- this year.
Cressida
82- He shall not need it if he have his own.
Pandarus
83- Nor his qualities.
Cressida
84- No matter.
Pandarus
85- Nor his beauty.
Cressida
86- ’Twould not become him, his own’s better.
Pandarus
87 - 89- You have no judgment, niece. Helen herself swore th’ other
- day that Troilus, for a brown favor (for so ’tis, I must
- confess)—not brown neither—
Cressida
90- No, but brown.
Pandarus
91- Faith, to say truth, brown and not brown.
Cressida
92- To say the truth, true and not true.
Pandarus
93- She prais’d his complexion above Paris.
Cressida
94- Why, Paris hath color enough.
Pandarus
95- So he has.
Cressida
96 - 100- Then Troilus should have too much: if she prais’d him above,
- his complexion is higher than his. He having color enough,
- and the other higher, is too flaming a praise for a good
- complexion. I had as lief Helen’s golden tongue had
- commended Troilus for a copper nose.
Pandarus
101- I swear to you, I think Helen loves him better than Paris.
Cressida
102- Then she’s a merry Greek indeed.
Pandarus
103 - 105- Nay, I am sure she does. She came to him th’ other day into
- the compass’d window—and you know he has not past three or
- four hairs on his chin—
Cressida
106 - 107- Indeed a tapster’s arithmetic may soon bring his particulars
- therein to a total.
Pandarus
108 - 109- Why, he is very young, and yet will he, within three pound,
- lift as much as his brother Hector.
Cressida
110- Is he so young a man and so old a lifter?
Pandarus
111 - 112- But to prove to you that Helen loves him: she came and puts
- me her white hand to his cloven chin—
Cressida
113- Juno have mercy! How came it cloven?
Pandarus
114 - 115- Why, you know ’tis dimpled. I think his smiling becomes him
- better than any man in all Phrygia.
Cressida
116- O, he smiles valiantly.
Pandarus
117- Does he not?
Cressida
118- O yes, and ’twere a cloud in autumn.
Pandarus
119 - 120- Why, go to then. But to prove to you that Helen loves
- Troilus—
Cressida
121- Troilus will stand to the proof, if you’ll prove it so.
Pandarus
122 - 123- Troilus! Why, he esteems her no more than I esteem an addle
- egg.
Cressida
124 - 125- If you love an addle egg as well as you love an idle head,
- you would eat chickens i’ th’ shell.
Pandarus
126 - 127- I cannot choose but laugh to think how she tickled his chin.
- Indeed she has a marvel’s white hand, I must needs confess.
Cressida
128- Without the rack.
Pandarus
129- And she takes upon her to spy a white hair on his chin.
Cressida
130- Alas, poor chin! Many a wart is richer.
Pandarus
131 - 132- But there was such laughing! Queen Hecuba laugh’d that her
- eyes ran o’er.
Cressida
133- With millstones.
Pandarus
134- And Cassandra laugh’d.
Cressida
135 - 136- But there was a more temperate fire under the pot of her
- eyes. Did her eyes run o’er too?
Pandarus
137- And Hector laugh’d.
Cressida
138- At what was all this laughing?
Pandarus
139- Marry, at the white hair that Helen spied on Troilus’ chin.
Cressida
140- And’t had been a green hair, I should have laugh’d too.
Pandarus
141 - 142- They laugh’d not so much at the hair as at his pretty
- answer.
Cressida
143- What was his answer?
Pandarus
144 - 145- Quoth she, “Here’s but two and fifty hairs on your chin—and
- one of them is white.”
Cressida
146- This is her question.
Pandarus
147 - 153- That’s true, make no question of that. “Two and fifty
- hairs,” quoth he, “and one white. That white hair is my
- father, and all the rest are his sons.” “Jupiter,” quoth
- she, “which of these hairs is Paris my husband?” “The fork’d
- one,” quoth he, “pluck’t out, and give it him.” But there
- was such laughing! And Helen so blush’d, and Paris so
- chaf’d, and all the rest so laugh’d, that it pass’d.
Cressida
154- So let it now, for it has been a great while going by.
Pandarus
155- Well, cousin, I told you a thing yesterday, think on’t.
Cressida
156- So I do.
Pandarus
157 - 158- I’ll be sworn ’tis true; he will weep you an’ ’twere a man
- born in April.
- Sound a retreat.
Cressida
159 - 160- And I’ll spring up in his tears an’ ’twere a nettle against
- May.
Pandarus
161 - 163- Hark, they are coming from the field. Shall we stand up here
- and see them as they pass toward Ilion? Good niece, do,
- sweet niece Cressida.
Cressida
164- At your pleasure.
Pandarus
165 - 167- Here, here, here’s an excellent place, here we may see most
- bravely. I’ll tell you them all by their names as they pass
- by, but mark Troilus above the rest.
- Enter Aeneas and passes over the stage.
Cressida
168- Speak not so loud.
Pandarus
169 - 171- That’s Aeneas; is not that a brave man? He’s one of the
- flowers of Troy, I can tell you. But mark Troilus; you shall
- see anon.
Cressida
172- Who’s that?
- Enter Antenor and passes over the stage.
Pandarus
173 - 177- That’s Antenor. He has a shrewd wit, I can tell you, and
- he’s man good enough. He’s one o’ th’ soundest judgements in
- Troy, whosoever, and a proper man of person. When comes
- Troilus? I’ll show you Troilus anon. If he see me, you shall
- see him nod at me.
Cressida
178- Will he give you the nod?
Pandarus
179- You shall see.
Cressida
180- If he do, the rich shall have more.
- Enter Hector and passes over the stage.
Pandarus
181 - 184- That’s Hector, that, that, look you, that; there’s a fellow!
- Go thy way. Hector! There’s a brave man, niece. O brave
- Hector! Look how he looks! There’s a countenance! Is’t not a
- brave man?
Cressida
185- O, a brave man!
Pandarus
186 - 189- Is ’a not? It does a man’s heart good. Look you what hacks
- are on his helmet! Look you yonder, do you see? Look you
- there, there’s no jesting; there’s laying on, take’t off who
- will, as they say. There be hacks!
Cressida
190- Be those with swords?
Pandarus
191 - 197- Swords! Any thing, he cares not; and the devil come to him,
- it’s all one. By God’s lid, it does one’s heart good. Yonder
- comes Paris, yonder comes Paris.
- Enter Paris and passes over the stage.
- Look ye yonder, niece; is’t not a gallant man too, is’t not?
- Why, this is brave now. Who said he came hurt home today?
- He’s not hurt. Why, this will do Helen’s heart good now, ha?
- Would I could see Troilus now! You shall see Troilus anon.
Cressida
198- Who’s that?
- Enter Helenus and passes over the stage.
Pandarus
199 - 200- That’s Helenus. I marvel where Troilus is. That’s Helenus. I
- think he went not forth today. That’s Helenus.
Cressida
201- Can Helenus fight, uncle?
Pandarus
202 - 204- Helenus? No. Yes, he’ll fight indifferent well. I marvel
- where Troilus is. Hark, do you not hear the people cry
- “Troilus”? Helenus is a priest.
Cressida
205- What sneaking fellow comes yonder?
- Enter Troilus and passes over the stage.
Pandarus
206 - 207- Where? Yonder? That’s Deiphobus. ’Tis Troilus! There’s a
- man, niece! Hem! Brave Troilus, the prince of chivalry!
Cressida
208- Peace, for shame, peace!
Pandarus
209 - 216- Mark him, note him. O brave Troilus! Look well upon him,
- niece. Look you how his sword is bloodied, and his helm more
- hack’d than Hector’s, and how he looks, and how he goes! O
- admirable youth! He never saw three and twenty. Go thy way,
- Troilus, go thy way! Had I a sister were a grace, or a
- daughter a goddess, he should take his choice. O admirable
- man! Paris? Paris is dirt to him, and I warrant Helen, to
- change, would give an eye to boot.
- Enter Trojan Soldiers and pass over the stage.
Cressida
217- Here comes more.
Pandarus
218 - 222- Asses, fools, dolts! Chaff and bran, chaff and bran!
- Porridge after meat! I could live and die in the eyes of
- Troilus. Ne’er look, ne’er look, the eagles are gone; crows
- and daws, crows and daws! I had rather be such a man as
- Troilus than Agamemnon and all Greece.
Cressida
223 - 224- There is amongst the Greeks Achilles, a better man than
- Troilus.
Pandarus
225- Achilles! A drayman, a porter, a very camel.
Cressida
226- Well, well,
Pandarus
227 - 231- Well, well! Why, have you any discretion? Have you any eyes?
- Do you know what a man is? Is not birth, beauty, good shape,
- discourse, manhood, learning, gentleness, virtue, youth,
- liberality, and suchlike, the spice and salt that season a
- man?
Cressida
232 - 233- Ay, a minc’d man, and then to be bak’d with no date in the
- pie, for then the man’s date is out.
Pandarus
234- You are such a woman, a man knows not at what ward you lie.
Cressida
235 - 238- Upon my back, to defend my belly, upon my wit, to defend my
- wiles, upon my secrecy, to defend mine honesty, my mask, to
- defend my beauty, and you, to defend all these; and at all
- these wards I lie, at a thousand watches.
Pandarus
239- Say one of your watches.
Cressida
240 - 243- Nay, I’ll watch you for that; and that’s one of the chiefest
- of them too. If I cannot ward what I would not have hit, I
- can watch you for telling how I took the blow—unless it
- swell past hiding, and then it’s past watching.
Pandarus
244- You are such another!
- Enter Troilus’ Boy.
Troilus’s Boy
245- Sir, my lord would instantly speak with you.
Pandarus
246- Where?
Troilus’s Boy
247- At your own house, there he unarms him.
Pandarus
248 - 249- Good boy, tell him I come.
- Exit Troilus’s Boy.
- I doubt he be hurt. Fare ye well, good niece.
Cressida
250- Adieu, uncle.
Pandarus
251- I will be with you, niece, by and by.
Cressida
252- To bring, uncle?
Pandarus
253- Ay, a token from Troilus.
Cressida
254 - 268- By the same token, you are a bawd.
- Exit Pandarus.
- Words, vows, gifts, tears, and love’s full sacrifice,
- He offers in another’s enterprise,
- But more in Troilus thousandfold I see
- Than in the glass of Pandar’s praise may be;
- Yet hold I off. Women are angels, wooing:
- Things won are done, joy’s soul lies in the doing.
- That she belov’d knows nought that knows not this:
- Men prize the thing ungain’d more than it is.
- That she was never yet that ever knew
- Love got so sweet as when desire did sue.
- Therefore this maxim out of love I teach:
- Achievement is command; ungain’d, beseech;
- Then though my heart’s content firm love doth bear,
- Nothing of that shall from mine eyes appear.
- Exit with Alexander.