The Merry Wives of Windsor
Act III, Scene 1
A field near Frogmore.
- Enter Evans, Simple.
Evans
1 - 3- I pray you now, good Master Slender’s servingman, and friend
- Simple by your name, which way have you look’d for Master
- Caius, that calls himself Doctor of Physic?
Simple
4 - 5- Marry, sir, the pittie-ward, the park-ward—every way; Old
- Windsor way, and every way but the town way.
Evans
6- I most fehemently desire you you will also look that way.
Simple
7- I will, sir.
- Exit.
Evans
8 - 22- Jeshu pless my soul! How full of chollors I am and trempling
- of mind! I shall be glad if he have deceiv’d me. How
- melancholies I am! I will knog his urinals about his knave’s
- costard when I have good opportunities for the ork. Pless my
- soul!
- Sings.
- “To shallow rivers, to whose falls
- Melodious birds sings madrigals;
- There will we make our peds of roses,
- And a thousand fragrant posies.
- To shallow—”
- Mercy on me! I have a great dispositions to cry.
- Sings.
- “Melodious birds sing madrigals—
- When as I sat in Pabylon—
- And a thousand vagram posies.
- To shallow, etc.”
- Enter Simple.
Simple
23- Yonder he is coming, this way, Sir Hugh.
Evans
24 - 26- He’s welcome.
- Sings.
- “To shallow rivers, to whose falls—”
- Heaven prosper the right! What weapons is he?
Simple
27 - 28- No weapons, sir. There comes my master, Master Shallow, and
- another gentleman—from Frogmore, over the stile, this way.
Evans
29- Pray you give me my gown, or else keep it in your arms.
- Reads in a book.
- Enter Page, Shallow, Slender.
Shallow
30 - 32- How now, Master Parson? Good morrow, good Sir Hugh. Keep a
- gamester from the dice, and a good student from his book,
- and it is wonderful.
Slender
33- Aside.
- Ah, sweet Anne Page!
George
34- God save you, good Sir Hugh!
Evans
35- God pless you from his mercy sake, all of you!
Shallow
36 - 37- What? The sword and the word? Do you study them both, Master
- Parson?
George
38 - 39- And youthful still, in your doublet and hose, this raw
- rheumatic day?
Byam Shaw, 1901
Evans
40- There is reasons and causes for it.
George
41- We are come to you to do a good office, Master Parson.
Evans
42- Fery well; what is it?
George
43 - 45- Yonder is a most reverend gentleman, who, belike having
- receiv’d wrong by some person, is at most odds with his own
- gravity and patience that ever you saw.
Shallow
46 - 48- I have liv’d fourscore years and upward; I never heard a man
- of his place, gravity, and learning, so wide of his own
- respect.
Evans
49- What is he?
George
50 - 51- I think you know him: Master Doctor Caius, the renown’d
- French physician.
Evans
52 - 53- Got’s will, and his passion of my heart! I had as lief you
- would tell me of a mess of porridge.
George
54- Why?
Evans
55 - 57- He has no more knowledge in Hibocrates and Galen—and he is a
- knave besides, a cowardly knave as you would desires to be
- acquainted withal.
George
58- I warrant you, he’s the man should fight with him.
Slender
59- Aside.
- O sweet Anne Page!
- Enter Host, Caius, Rugby.
Shallow
60 - 61- It appears so by his weapons. Keep them asunder; here comes
- Doctor Caius.
- Evans and Caius offer to fight.
George
62- Nay, good Master Parson, keep in your weapon.
Shallow
63- So do you, good Master Doctor.
Host
64 - 65- Disarm them, and let them question. Let them keep their
- limbs whole and hack our English.
Caius
66 - 67- I pray you let-a me speak a word with your ear. Vherefore
- vill you not meet-a me?
Evans
68- Aside to Caius
- Pray you use your patience in good time.
Caius
69- By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog, John ape.
Evans
70 - 74- Aside to Caius
- Pray you let us not be laughing-stocks to other men’s
- humors. I desire you in friendship, and I will one way or
- other make you amends.
- Aloud.
- I will knog your urinals about your knave’s cogscomb for
- missing your meetings and appointments.
Caius
75 - 76- Diable! Jack Rugby—mine host de Jarteer—have I not stay for
- him to kill him? Have I not, at de place I did appoint?
Evans
77 - 78- As I am a Christians-soul, now look you; this is the place
- appointed. I’ll be judgment by mine host of the Garter.
Host
79 - 80- Peace, I say, Gallia and Gaul, French and Welsh, soul-curer
- and body-curer!
Act header for the James Ballantyne and Co. edition of The Merry Wives of Windsor
Hugh Thomson, 1910
Caius
81- Ay, dat is very good, excellant.
Host
82 - 91- Peace, I say! Hear mine host of the Garter. Am I politic? Am
- I subtle? Am I a Machiavel? Shall I lose my doctor? No, he
- gives me the potions and the motions. Shall I lose my
- parson? My priest? My Sir Hugh? No, he gives me the proverbs
- and the no-verbs. Give me thy hand, terrestial; so. Give me
- thy hand, celestial; so. Boys of art, I have deceiv’d you
- both; I have directed you to wrong places. Your hearts are
- mighty, your skins are whole, and let burnt sack be the
- issue. Come, lay their swords to pawn. Follow me, lads of
- peace; follow, follow, follow.
- Exit.
Shallow
92- Afore God, a mad host. Follow, gentlemen, follow.
Slender
93- Aside.
- O sweet Anne Page!
- Exeunt Shallow, Slender, and Page.
Caius
94- Ha, do I perceive dat? Have you make-a de sot of us, ha, ha?
Evans
95 - 98- This is well! He has made us his vlouting-stog. I desire you
- that we may be friends; and let us knog our prains together
- to be revenge on this same scall, scurvy, cogging companion,
- the host of the Garter.
Caius
99 - 100- By gar, with all my heart. He promise to bring me where is
- Anne Page; by gar, he deceive me too.
Evans
101- Well, I will smite his noddles. Pray you follow.
- Exeunt.
There comes my master, Master Shallow, and another gentleman—from Frogmore, over the stile, this way.
Hugh Thomson, 1910