Henry IV, Pt. 1
Act II, Scene 1
Rochester . An inn yard .
- Enter a Carrier with a lantern in his hand .
First Carrier
1 - 3- Heigh - ho ! An’ it be not four by the day , I’ll be hang’d .
- Charles’ wain is over the new chimney , and yet our horse not
- pack’d . What , ostler !
Ostler
4- Within .
- Anon , anon .
First Carrier
5 - 6- I prithee , Tom , beat Cut’s saddle , put a few flocks in the
- point . Poor jade is wrung in the withers , out of all cess .
- Enter another Carrier .
Second Carrier
7 - 9- Peas and beans are as dank here as a dog , and that is the
- next way to give poor jades the bots . This house is turn’d
- upside down since Robin ostler died .
First Carrier
10 - 11- Poor fellow never joy’d since the price of oats rose , it was
- the death of him .
Second Carrier
12 - 13- I think this be the most villainous house in all London road
- for fleas . I am stung like a tench .
First Carrier
14 - 15- Like a tench ? By the mass , there is ne’er a king christen
- could be better bit than I have been since the first cock .
Second Carrier
16 - 18- Why , they will allow us ne’er a jordan , and then we leak in
- your chimney , and your chamber - lye breeds fleas like a
- loach .
First Carrier
19- What , ostler ! Come away and be hang’d ! Come away .
Second Carrier
20 - 21- I have a gammon of bacon and two razes of ginger , to be
- deliver’d as far as Charing - cross .
First Carrier
22 - 26- God’s body , the turkeys in my pannier are quite starv’d .
- What , ostler ! A plague on thee ! Hast thou never an eye in
- thy head ? Canst not hear ? And ’twere not as good deed as
- drink to break the pate on thee , I am a very villain . Come ,
- and be hang’d ! Hast no faith in thee ?
- Enter Gadshill .
Gadshill
27- Good morrow , carriers , what’s a’ clock ?
First Carrier
28- I think it be two a’ clock .
Gadshill
29 - 30- I prithee lend me thy lantern , to see my gelding in the
- stable .
First Carrier
31 - 32- Nay , by God , soft , I know a trick worth two of that , i’
- faith .
Gadshill
33- I pray thee lend me thine .
Second Carrier
34 - 35- Ay , when , canst tell ? Lend me thy lantern , quoth he ! Marry ,
- I’ll see thee hang’d first .
Gadshill
36- Sirrah carrier , what time do you mean to come to London ?
Second Carrier
37 - 39- Time enough to go to bed with a candle , I warrant thee .
- Come , neighbor Mugs , we’ll call up the gentlemen . They will
- along with company , for they have great charge .
- Exeunt Carriers .
Gadshill
40- What ho ! Chamberlain !
- Enter Chamberlain .
Chamberlain
41- At hand , quoth pick - purse .
Gadshill
42 - 44- That’s even as fair as — at hand , quoth the chamberlain ; for
- thou variest no more from picking of purses than giving
- direction doth from laboring : thou layest the plot how .
Chamberlain
45 - 51- Good morrow , Master Gadshill . It holds current that I told
- you yesternight : there’s a franklin in the Wild of Kent hath
- brought three hundred marks with him in gold . I heard him
- tell it to one of his company last night at supper , a kind
- of auditor , one that hath abundance of charge too — God knows
- what . They are up already , and call for eggs and butter .
- They will away presently .
Gadshill
52 - 53- Sirrah , if they meet not with Saint Nicholas’ clerks , I’ll
- give thee this neck .
Chamberlain
54 - 56- No , I’ll none of it , I pray thee keep that for the hangman ,
- for I know thou worshippest Saint Nicholas as truly as a man
- of falsehood may .
Gadshill
57 - 72- What talkest thou to me of the hangman ? If I hang , I’ll make
- a fat pair of gallows ; for if I hang , old Sir John hangs
- with me , and thou knowest he is no starveling . Tut , there
- are other Troyans that thou dream’st not of , the which for
- sport sake are content to do the profession some grace , that
- would ( if matters should be look’d into ) for their own
- credit sake make all whole . I am join’d with no foot
- land - rakers , no long - staff sixpenny strikers , none of these
- mad mustachio purple - hu’d malt - worms , but with nobility and
- tranquility , burgomasters and great oney’rs , such as can
- hold in , such as will strike sooner than speak , and speak
- sooner than drink , and drink sooner than pray ; and yet ,
- ’zounds , I lie , for they pray continually to their saint ,
- the commonwealth , or rather , not pray to her , but prey on
- her , for they ride up and down on her , and make her their
- boots .
Chamberlain
73 - 74- What , the commonwealth their boots ? Will she hold out water
- in foul way ?
Gadshill
75 - 77- She will , she will , justice hath liquor’d her . We steal as
- in a castle , cock - sure ; we have the receipt of fern - seed , we
- walk invisible .
Chamberlain
78 - 79- Nay , by my faith , I think you are more beholding to the
- night than to fern - seed for your walking invisible .
Gadshill
80 - 81- Give me thy hand . Thou shalt have a share in our purchase ,
- as I am a true man .
Chamberlain
82- Nay , rather let me have it as you are a false thief .
Gadshill
83 - 85- Go to , homo is a common name to all men . Bid the ostler
- bring my gelding out of the stable . Farewell , you muddy
- knave .
- Exeunt .